2026

All Quiet on the Western Front

I didn’t learn much about WWI in school, but when I was in Belgium I visited some of the trenches and graves from it. Absolutely devastating and utterly pointless. The juxtaposition of the leadership and negotiators against the poor beleaguered soldiers was grim. Let everyone who has declared a war or sent soldiers to die suffer.

All You Need is Kill

It’s rare that two adaptations of a book can be fun and unique. Killer animation.

Mortal Kombat

It’s weird to know Kano primarily from St. Denis.

Hokum

The witch would’ve liked him if he wasn’t such an ass.

Napa Boys

Those damn Napa boys.

Dead Man’s Wire

Should’ve been Stavvy

How to Make a Killing

TFW there are no consequences other than losing your soul for murdering a bunch of terrible people.

Exit 8

Trapped in a maze of fatherhood.

Faces of Death

When I was in high school, the movie that inspired this was a sleepover rumor of which everyone claimed to have a friend who saw it. I’ve never seen the whole thing, because even as a morbidly fascinated youth, I figured it wasn’t a great plan. This ruled.

Project Hail Mary

Entirely too cutesy, BUT it was also funny, entertaining, and made me laugh.

Send Help

Castaway but weirder and wilder.

War Machine

Schlock, but still fun.

Good Luck, Have Fun, Don’t Die

A mess but mostly ok.

Cold Storage

Serviceable with kinda fun set pieces.

The Housemaid

Absolutely bizarre but predictable. So many very abusive partners out there but they’re not clever, the world just hates women.

Return to Silent Hill

Even by video game standards this was baaaad

Die My Love

Nick. Nolte. White. Sketchers.

Sentimental Value

The marble hallway! God. I would’ve thought an acclaimed filmmaker would have more taste

28 Years Later: The Bone Temple

Second-best in the franchise.

Movern Caller

Can you put a price on emotional trauma? Sure: 100,000£

Marty Supreme

Wow. The music propels this, but the absolutely stellar asshole performance by little Timmy Chalet was spectacular.

Hard Boiled

Still rips

No Other Choice

Embracing the AI future.

Pillion

A new Christmas classic.

Mercy

Rory, what have we watched?

We Bury the Dead

Tooth-grinding zombies is innovative

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